You know you’re not in England when…

I’ve been living in Spain for almost a week now and there are some giveaways that I’m simply not in England anymore. Here is a list of the first 30 that came to my mind.

As an English person, you know you’re not in England when:

  • the air con in the car is set to 18 degrees and it feels refreshing
  • a box of PG tips is expensive
  • each block of flats has its own swimming pool
  • 80% of the roads are one way
  • you have to wear suncream everyday
  • not one room in your house is carpeted
  • all the shops close at 2pm for a siesta
  • nothing is open on a Sunday (except the Chinese shops and 24 hour Mcdonalds)
  • people eat outside without wearing jackets
  • Mcdonalds serves beer
  • there is no vegetarian option on the menu and if there is, it still has ham in it
  • nobody knows what a pound is
  • everyday the sky is blue
  • you wear flip flops inside the house instead of slippers
  • you can be certain the bus driver will give change
  • they show traditional cartoons on tv – I’m talking about Powerpuff Girls, The Smurfs and Dexters Lab
  • iPlayer doesn’t work
  • it hasn’t rained in a while
  • 6pm is snack time, not dinner time
  • you drink UHT milk because it’s nicer than fresh milk
  • there isn’t a 9pm watershed for tv – swearing and violence can be shown at any time of the day
  • there has been no talk of the Royal Baby whatsoever
  • you put olive oil on your sandwiches instead of butter
  • finding a decent loaf of granary bread is impossible
  • fruit and vegetables come in many crazy shapes and sizes
  • you can’t remember the last time you wore trousers was
  • your windows have blackout shutters on them to keep the sun out
  • you are wary of drinking the tap water
  • the city centre is a system of blocks and plazas (squares)
  • mid-journey, the bus driver goes for an expresso (leaving the engine running for 5 minutes).Image

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