I’ve been swimming semi-competitively for the past nine years or so, on and off. I used to swim for my city, training 4/5 times a week and I specialised in freestyle sprints and IM. Now I’m in the uni triathlon team and it’s the Easter holidays but my training hasn’t stopped. I’ve got a month membership to my old swimming pool and would like to apologise for a few things, as going from a club training session to ‘public swimming’ is very different. Here are some of my apologies to the different people I encounter in these sessions.
Sorry to the swimmers in my lane
- I’m sorry for making you stick to the clockwise swimming rule, even if you think it’s better swimming one up, one down, it really isn’t for several reasons.
- I’m sorry for touching your foot and freaking you out, it’s not a game of mine, I’m just letting you know that I’m going to overtake you.
- I’m sorry for swimming faster than you in the ‘fast lane’, there wasn’t a ‘super fast lane’ available.
- Sorry I don’t have time to chit chat at the end of the pool, I get 10 seconds rest which isn’t enough time to tell you the ins and outs of my set.
- Sorry if the only things you hear me say are numbers – “1.37, black 15, 1.34, 4 100s plus 15”
- Sorry for tumble-turning and both ends of the pool, I know at the shallow end you expect people to do a touch turn, but I’ve done tens of thousands of tumble turns and can do them in shallow water too.
- Sorry you thought I’d kick you when I tumble-turn (I saw you squidge up to the lane rope)….again, I’ve done thousands of them and won’t hurt you.
To the swimmers in other lanes
- I’m sorry if I splash you.
- Sorry if my hand accidentally touches yours when swimming, it’s not intentional.
- Sorry I don’t have time to talk to you either.
- Sorry for spreading all my stuff out all over the changing rooms.
- I’m sorry if my hand crosses into your lane when I’m doing butterfly.
- Sorry for being angry at the aquafit class for making my lane so choppy.
- I’m sorry for taking my last two lengths easy and being a bit of a hypocrite, but I’ve deserved it!
To the lifeguard
- Sorry for causing a scene and overtaking people mid-lane.
- Sorry for being the last one to get out of the changing rooms and stopping you from going home.
- I’m (not as) sorry for checking all the lockers and taking any £1 coins that have been left.
- Sorry for sticking my set to the lane direction sign, if it’s on the floor it gets wet and I can’t read it.
- Sorry for doubting your lifesaving abilities when you’re wearing socks, trainers and pool shoe covers.
To my coach
- Sorry for going to the toilet mid-set.
- I’m sorry for taking 20 seconds break instead of 10.
- Sorry for skipping a couple of 50’s.
If you’re a good swimmer that comes across difficulties when swimming in public sessions, leave a comment below, I’d love to hear from you!